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Quarter Lifer

Quarter Lifer: Piss on Parco P.I.

8/28/2005

Piss on Parco P.I.

Dammit why hasn't reality TV died off yet?
I like documentaries. My favorite channels are A&E, Discovery, The History Channel, Court TV & the like. Let's be clear: I pay for cable explicitly so I do NOT have to suffer through the ridiculous shit on regular TV.

I do not want to marry a millionaire, nor do I need to survive temptation island, become a Hilton or guess who my daddy is. It is all crap.

Over the last year or so I have suffered through the horrible decline of my beloved A&E. I have seen the quality programming I love so much slowly overtaken by the likes of Intervention, Airline, Family Plots, Dog the Bounty (or in my house: Bunny) Hunter, Inked, etc. I recall a time when one could learn something on TLC that was not filmed in a garage. A time when Discovery didn't feel the need to get in on the home decorating craze. A time when A&E didn't even consider airing a show with Mindfreak in the title. Call me nostalgic, but these channels were much better before they jumped on the moron bandwagon.

I have found solace in Court TV where they still have a grasp on what those of us with an IQ above 17 find interesting. Unfortunately, I feel they are succumbing to the same fate. It all started with Fastlane. Why they felt the need to create an action show is beyond me. Does the Forensic Files watching crowd really seem like they need a jolt of high speed car chases & danger? Hell No. Then to make it even more depressing it stars Tiffani Thiessen. When will she accept that the pinnacle of her acting career was as Kelly Kapowski on Saved by The Bell? When Court TV started playing the ads for Fastlane I turned a blind eye. Call it denial, call it what you will. I could not accept the downfall of the last idiot proof channel on my cable guide.

Enter Parco PI. Parco is another one of these 'Look I have a fucked up family & a job' type shows. I don't know about the rest of you, but who doesn't have a fucked up family & a job? Are most people really brady bunch-esque and crave something screwed up for their viewing pleasure? I highly doubt it. As if the show's mere existence isn't upsetting enough, Court TV seems to have dug up the most stereotypical New Yorker they could find. He is pudgy, angry & has the bad NY accent. If Court is going to screw with my channel could they at least have opted to be mildly less predictable?

Let's review some cable show premises shall we?
- Dog the Bounty Hunter: "I am a bounty hunter, with a fucked up family."
- Family Plots: "I run a morgue, with a fucked up family"
- Parco PI: "I am a private investigator, with a fucked up family"
- Growing Up Gotti: " I am rich, with a fucked up family."
- Intervention: "I am fucked up, with a fucked up family."
- Knievel's Wild Ride: "I jump things on a bike, with my fucked up family."
- American Chopper: "I build motorcycles, with my fucked up family."

DOES ANYONE SEE A TREND HERE??
I am so sick of a culture that aspires to placate stupid people.
Creativity is out. Original thoughts are passe. Common sense is dead.
If you want some reality trying turning off the damn TV for once.

13 Comments:

I've always wondered what it feels like to have an IQ higher than 17..

How about a show with a character whose job IS to fuck up families?

I'm onto something here..

9:17 PM  

I like the thought. Though where are you going to find a normal family who is aspiring to dysfunction?

10:19 PM  

I hear that deaf people are quite friendly..

Jesus' friends are also pretty standard..

Worse comes to worse, we can always use monkeys.. Everybody likes monkeys..

10:30 PM  

You nailed that one.

We see enough reality shit everyday when we step outside our houses.

Why the hell do we need to see it on TV?

7:26 AM  

Hey girl! Fastlane was originally on Fox. Then it was on MTV (cos who really needs to see anything about music anyways), then it was on SPike TV and now it's on Court? WTF? Fastlane is apparently the most syndicated failed shit show of all time.
You forgot Inked: I run a tattoo shop and my employees and their families are fucked up. Or Laguna Beach on MTV, we are rich, young, drive new SUVs and like life is sooo fucked up. Although Family Business about Seymore Butts & family on Showtime is hilarious. A family that works in porn works at home. They are actually not fucked up. Except for Cousin Stevie, but that's cos he's a schemer. Good rant.

9:05 AM  

BEG (Laugh, I did when I typed it)- Yeah, but I expect these things from MTV & Spike. The point is I don't want them on the "respectable" channels. I want the infiltration to stop! Is that Seymour Butts thing actually legit reality? I thought it was fictional?
I mentioned inked, but since I dont have to see the ugly angry families in the commercials it didnt make 'the list'.

PT - Yes everybody loves monkeys (Blackeyedgurl will back you on that one), but I thought about it and if we fuck up a family are we really combatting the problem or falling victim to it? All though I think messing with young deaf Christians who promote abstinence might be worth it. I could direct a lot of my anger into one place.

10:19 AM  

Maybe families are all just really fucked up. Mine is isn't yours?

12:33 PM  

We are but one small step away from one of my "guilty pleasure" oldie movies from the 1980s--"The Running Man" with Arnold Schwarzennager, centered on a TV show where the contestants are hunted down and killed.

Not a bad idea for all the dildos whp appear on these reality shows, is it?

-- d.a.

1:03 PM  

Exactly my point. All families are screwed up, so why on earth do we need to watch other people's on television? Have you checked out Dog's wife? En route to turn off A&E one night I caught a scene wherein she was mistaken by a bum for 'one of those wrestling women'.

I remember Running Man. Though a guilty pleasure it had two things going for it that these shows do not:
1) The people actually died - If there was actual death I might be more apt to watch these shows. Anything that lessens the stupid population on my planet is a good thing.
2) Mick Fleetwood

1:35 PM  

Yeah, Family Business is for real. I feel like an idiot for watching it (cos you know how much I love reality TV), but it's actually entertaining to watch them go from recruiting new porn stars to making dinner for Yom Kippur. Jews in porn!

I was just letting you know Fastlane's history, which can be translated as this: people won't watch it, it will find some other idiot channel to show up on, CourtTV will be free soon.

And Yes, everybody loves monkeys. Much more than anybody loves that Ray guy.

3:23 PM  

I hate reality TV - I don't even watch TV anymore cuz that's all that on!

2:21 AM  

OK OK. Fine, you don't like the show. BUT, DID YOU SEE THIS???? It's awesome, no BS!

The most immersive online game i've seen yet.

www.parcoswatching.com

7:32 AM  

Yeah... every one's family s fucked up; But a lot of people still pretend everything s fine and they look like the dream family... and some folks are still ashamed to admit, hey things are not so perfect! So it makes them feel normal when they see other pp so fucked up... i think. Or they just bored.
talking of bored the game IS kindo cool (i don't have TV cos it takes up all my free time. Much better posting with you guys ;)

http://www.parcoswatching.com/
Needs Player: Flash You become the detective and you go around the city hot places to interrogate people I actually ended up playing til I won!

9:16 PM  

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