Abstinence Redefined.

On the heels of my tirade about the young & the sexless I find this lovely rant by Bill Maher. Much like Bill Clinton modern day Christian teens apparently have a very specific & literal on what constitutes sex. Much to my amazement the religious definition of abstinence has been altered to non-reproductive sexual activity (Read: God is ok with anal & oral sex).
My biblical knowledge is escaping me at the moment...Anyone know if Jesus liked anal? Or was that against the rules? How about oral? It seems like the kind of thing that would have been en vogue in the old testament.

This all makes me think about my 14 yr old niece who came back from Christian camp with a faux-hawk (It makes her look like a kewpie doll). Not to mention she recently self-pierced her belly button. I wonder if her ultra Catholic parents know she is on the verge of anal sex?