....And Then He Juggled
Singledom is just a nightmare sometimes.
I have never tried the whole nice guy thing. There is some comfort in knowing a guy I like is an asshole. It has a warped sort of honesty to it. I am inherently distrustful of men who are not assholes. I have long held the belief that nice guys are really just assholes waiting to happen. Flowers, candy, dinner...It's all just a cheap ploy that only works on dumb girls. Now that I have tried the nice guy thing I know I am right.
I recently met one of these "nice guy" creatures. We had coffee the other day & it went really well. He didn't suck. Later we were talking and he asked me over to his place on Wednesday to hang out. We got thai food, talked & watched some TV. All seemed to be going well. As the evening progressed we started making out and what not. Eventually, we relocated to the bedroom (Yes, it is about as difficult to get me into a bedroom as it is to get a round peg into a round hole). I continue making sure said boy is ok with where everything is going. He assures me he is fine. Not that I really needed reassurance considering the blissfully happy look on his face.
Then without warning he stops.
I ask him what is wrong. He says he is just overloaded & wants to chill. We stop for a few minutes. I sense something is up, but I can't put my finger on it. I offer to leave. First he says no, but eventually changes his mind. As I'm gathering up my leftovers we are chatting. Being me I took the whole thing personally & felt like crap. He swears he is just in stuck in his head & needs to clear his thoughts.
I guess if it ended there I'd have considered this par for the course & not given it a second thought. However, this is my life & there just has to be something to add to it's fucked up quotient. While we are saying goodbye the boy in question decides to make a vain attempt at making me feel better about the now awkward situation. He proceeds as follows:
1) Picks up some objects off the bookshelf & begins juggling them for me.
2) Picks up a quarter & does a magic trick to make it disappear.
3) Picks up his cat & carries it around the living room like a pelt.
Only then am I allowed to escape the nightmare this had become.
Why me?
I have never tried the whole nice guy thing. There is some comfort in knowing a guy I like is an asshole. It has a warped sort of honesty to it. I am inherently distrustful of men who are not assholes. I have long held the belief that nice guys are really just assholes waiting to happen. Flowers, candy, dinner...It's all just a cheap ploy that only works on dumb girls. Now that I have tried the nice guy thing I know I am right.
I recently met one of these "nice guy" creatures. We had coffee the other day & it went really well. He didn't suck. Later we were talking and he asked me over to his place on Wednesday to hang out. We got thai food, talked & watched some TV. All seemed to be going well. As the evening progressed we started making out and what not. Eventually, we relocated to the bedroom (Yes, it is about as difficult to get me into a bedroom as it is to get a round peg into a round hole). I continue making sure said boy is ok with where everything is going. He assures me he is fine. Not that I really needed reassurance considering the blissfully happy look on his face.
Then without warning he stops.
I ask him what is wrong. He says he is just overloaded & wants to chill. We stop for a few minutes. I sense something is up, but I can't put my finger on it. I offer to leave. First he says no, but eventually changes his mind. As I'm gathering up my leftovers we are chatting. Being me I took the whole thing personally & felt like crap. He swears he is just in stuck in his head & needs to clear his thoughts.
I guess if it ended there I'd have considered this par for the course & not given it a second thought. However, this is my life & there just has to be something to add to it's fucked up quotient. While we are saying goodbye the boy in question decides to make a vain attempt at making me feel better about the now awkward situation. He proceeds as follows:
1) Picks up some objects off the bookshelf & begins juggling them for me.
2) Picks up a quarter & does a magic trick to make it disappear.
3) Picks up his cat & carries it around the living room like a pelt.
Only then am I allowed to escape the nightmare this had become.
Why me?
posted by Knina at 7:13 PM
8 Comments:
Hmm..I could be wrong but sounds like you're annoyed cos he stopped but you didn't want him to. Reverse the roles - say you decide to stop. The nice guy will respect that. The asshole may not...what then?
Give the nice guys a chance - true, there may be something more sinister lurking underneath, but as long as you don't forget, just make the most of the flowers, dinner dates and chocolates.
BTW, I came here via the Blog Rocket.
Here's an idea--run your proposed dates by your loyal readers, who will conduct a virtual group psychological assessment of your potential partners. I'm sure we are up to the task.
We may save you from further emotional harm. And if nothing else, we will get to make fun of myriad men who seek the pleasure of your favors.
-- d.a.
Wow, that guy has a problem. Don't confuse nice guys with weirdos, though - just because they're not assholes doesn't mean they aren't any fun.
Weenie - I guess there is a little more background to the situation than I let on, but I see your point.
DA - But wouldn't you be so bummed if my bizarre life stories got pre-empted by my readers? Besides, the best part about having my blog is getting to share the crap that only happens to me & turing it into (hopefully) humerous anecdotes.
DPR - I'm going to have to work on that one.
Yep... I believe that juggling is Important. Magic tricks, not so much.
But neither has a place in the freaking bedroom. Give the guy chance number two if you want, perhaps he just has a nervous willie.
Or maybe he's Mr. Clownie the Axe Murderer. He didn't juggle an axe, did he?
Definitely no axe juggling, though knowing my luck...
John Wayne Gacy used to dress up as a clown. Everyone should fear clowns. Ironically the juggling boy is an actor which may include being a clown at some point.
kinky said she loves ass hole.. go find ass holes in the toilets, kinky.
What a ninny. The only thing I can think of is, the thai food got to him, then got worse (this is when he decided he wanted you to leave), but then suddenly went away, so he tried to make the best of a bad situation.
Either way, what a ninny.
But please, don't give assholes any more validation than they already get...