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Quarter Lifer

Quarter Lifer: God, Protect Me From Your Followers

9/07/2005

God, Protect Me From Your Followers

Unbeknownst to me the hurricane was a gift from god. Luckily, the Christian right has again come to my ignorant aid. This article over at Agape Press lays out how Katrina is one of the good things god has done for the world.
"“New Orleans now is abortion free. New Orleans now is Mardi Gras free. New Orleans now is free of Southern Decadence and the sodomites, the witchcraft workers, false religion -- it's free of all of those things now," Shanks says. "God simply, I believe, in His mercy purged all of that stuff out of there -- and now we're going to start over again."

My bad. Here I thought nature had taken its course and New Orleans got the short end of the stick. I am obviously mistaken. Again, I get down on my knees & thank the good Christians who jumped to point out the error of my ways. The world is now free from abortions, witchcraft & sodomy. Whew. I was getting worried.

But, wait...

What if the people who practice these things made it out alive?
What if they are spreading their evil voodoo abortions & anal sex in Texas?
What if there are co-conspirators elsewhere in the country secretly donating lube & coat
hangers?
Is the Red Cross needlessly fueling the fire?
Is someone out there checking to make sure that everyone getting food, water & shelter is not some unholy sodomite or baby killer?

Didn't Hitler color code Jews, homosexuals & gypsies during the holocaust? We should definitely implement this for Katrina refugees.
I'm thinking:
Brown = Sodomites
Red = Baby Killers
Black = Non-believers, witchcraft practicers

Rainbow = Mardi Gras enjoyers & Homosexuals

I need to garner some support for this color coding movement. So please take advantage of this chance to bind ourselves together with more hate. You never know when these opportunities will come our way again.
Support The Color Coding Of Sinners!
Get Your CCSM Support Ribbon Here!

9 Comments:

damn. guess i better go hide my candles before a natural disaster makes its way to my neighborhood.

10:29 PM  

Apparently the concept of 'agape' was lost on the fucktards of Agape Press.

11:06 PM  

I'm all for it, can you hook a bitch up with some smaller ribbons? Perhaps a nice button to fit in the old sidebar?

Fucking crazy christian freaks... and they have the nerve to get on us. All we do is buttfuck and abort our evil, satanic, bred thru the ass babies.

11:39 PM  

Happy to oblige. The link in the post goes to a 30x60 on my Flickr page. Down with the unmarked sinners! Hehe.

1:01 AM  

You seem quite the reader. Dig the style. Come on down to...

www.aggressivefiction.blogspot.com

It's just a short fiction archive. Anyone named "kinky" is bound to find a tale they'll like.

Cheers,

BH

1:22 AM  

It would have been nice if you had commented on both Christian leaders. The one you didn't mention focused on God's mercy amid this tragedy. Is that too loving to fit into your pre-conceived opinions about Christianity?

No Christian I know and respect (and there are plenty) would ever make such a comment as the person you commented on. Christ would be appalled to hear one of His supposed followers saying such things as "they deserved it." If sin is a prerequisite to our destruction, then we all deserve it.

4:10 PM  

So you are one of the 'right' Christians?

Maybe when the group as a whole makes up its mind about what it believes I will start considering it a legit religion.

Also, if you could tell me what in the situation demonstrates mercy from a higher being I'd love to hear it.

Honestly, I don't agree with either man in the article. I really think Katrina was just bad weather.

4:27 PM  

Very interesting reading blog.

4:59 PM  

Dang, What the hell is wrong with some people... Stop blaming this stuff on God. So now New Orleans is cleansed from sin. Dang, God doesn't love the sin but loves the sinner. Look at John 3:16 "For God so Loved The World". God is love, thats who he is... He looks at all this stuff and His heart breaks! Yep God righteously hates sin, but he loves people so much. He looks at the potential of the person, not that they are a loser!

Stop looking at the bad side of it all. What about the good stuff? Its always easy to look at the bad side of people and critisize and put people down. But its hard to see the potential in people. Thats what p***** me off.

God is the perfect gentleman and won't involve himself in peoples lives more than they will allow.

Show me in the Bible where I'm wrong. Prove to me that I'm full of crap.

8:02 PM  

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