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Quarter Lifer

Quarter Lifer: Tuesday: Monday the Sequel

9/21/2005

Tuesday: Monday the Sequel

There has been a lot of talk about the Supreme Court as of late. In honor of this I have decided to explain what I think the next constitutional amendment should be & why.

Kinky Poe's 28th Constitutional Amendment
: No person should have to leave their house on a Tuesday if they feel it is not necessary or in fact may be detrimental to their well being.

Here is the deal: I have NEVER had a great Tuesday. I will inevitably feel angst ridden, bad things will happen & I will repeat phrases such as 'It's really irritating to be alive on Tuesdays' or 'Why did I leave the house this morning?' throughout the course of the day.

All the other days have a place, some redeeming quality to them...
Monday: The first day of the week, how bad can it be?
Wednesday: Affectionately known as hump day. I've heard this has something to do with being in the middle of the week. Apparently I was misinterpreting the term hump. Oops.
Thursday: Hey, it's almost Friday. Often a payday for people & the weekend is in your sights.
Friday: TGIF - Look it already has an acronym. Clearly a beloved day.
Saturday: Free from the grind. Personal time abound.
Sunday: The best day of the week to feel pointless & it is completely ok to do so. Church & football reign supreme on this special day of the week.

But what about Tuesday? Nothing more than Monday, the sequel as far as I can tell & in true sequel form, it is not as good as the original.

I have done some informal studies on how others feel about Tuesdays. It seems there is a secret epidemic plaguing our country called Tuesday. I can not find anyone who has good Tuesdays. No one seems particularly fond of them. Some examples of recent Tuesdays:
09/20: I came down with my first case of hives. Ever had hives? I had no clue what was going on & was fairly certain that something straight out of Invasion was taking over my body. Low & behold I just ate too many fresh tomatoes from my cute elderly neighbor's garden. Well, it's either the tomatoes or stress. The giant, roving, itchy masses that plagued my body last night were not very specific in why they showed up.
09/20: From an email I got: "You'd do me a favor if you killed me."
08/30: My mom had finally found her dream car to replace her beloved ol' Acura TL. A white loaded, 2002 V6 Honda Accord. She picked it up on Friday night. A whopping 3 days later her pristine baby gets nailed from behind by a pregnant woman. She came home completely broken hearted & you know what I said? "Of course your new car got hit, it's Tuesday!"

Originally I contemplated taking Tuesday out of the week entirely. However, I feared that another day would simply take over Tuesday's residual bad karma. Therefore I propose that Tuesdays become wholly optional. There will be no penalty if you choose to hide under the covers in the safety of your bed all day. Any missed work will be paid leave. There is no bad to this plan. Well, unless your house starts on fire...And if it does I am positive it will be on a Tuesday.

6 Comments:

Buffy used to air on Tuesdays. I miss those days.

8:53 AM  

PT - A very keen observation. If I had to pick a month we don't need it would in fact be March. Mostly cuz it is long & here in Wisconsin usually marked by the most depressing weather of the year.

Rob - Key word used to be. See it is even a day of mourning for Joss fans.

12:09 PM  

Well here I am battling against a review of the week. In fact, a review of every week there will ever be.

Tough call.

3:26 PM  

Tuesday should be clothing optional day. Nuff said.

-- d.a.

8:04 PM  

"PT - a fery keen observation" - what u mean?

Piggy momy

2:35 AM  

this troubled twisted pig is going offline and 6 ft under soon.

will keep his skin for fun.

orang mati tinggal nama..
babi mati tinggal kulit..

all pig friends shd no longer accept anon post. just tell pig to move to an island.

wassalam.

7:19 AM  

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