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Quarter Lifer

Quarter Lifer: Ways You Know You Are Unemployed

10/30/2005

Ways You Know You Are Unemployed

1) You consider dressing up putting a bra on to go to the gas station
2) You fear leaving the house because it will cost money
3) You develop inane projects like obsessively blogging to keep yourself entertained
4) You develop insomnia due to inactivity
5) You masturbate during daylight hours
6) You don't eat, it's too expensive & not really worth the effort
7) You smoke twice as much as normal, not only does it serve as entertainment but compensates for the lack of food in the kitchen
8) You have deep conversations with your pets
9) You memorize daytime TV schedules
10) You take showers on an as needed basis. Need is defined by people asking 'Do you smell something?' or alternately you take one every 3 hours for 'fun'
11) You think too much....about everything

8 Comments:

Maybe the title should be changed to "Ten Ways You Know You Are An Unemployed Woman". For men, number 5 is true for homeless men and probably Bill Gates. Number 10 is probably true for all intellectuals, working or not. Maybe it should be replaced with, "That weird smell is you".

Seriously, I think you are letting this get to you too much. Searching around for a job is never fun, but you only have to do it for a short time. From what you posted before, it sounds like you the qualifications for another good job.

In a few years I'll have my own business in the Chicago area. I'll give you a call. ;)

4:57 PM  

good listing... makes sense to me, but actually i seem to suffer from the same symptons even being employed... maybe i just just start revisiting my shrink an d hearing him out bout his family...

just don't give up...
you will manage it to find a job...

6:05 PM  

I love how you did your blog. I can't seem to make mine real creative like you did.
good job & good reading.....
Unemployment sucks.

6:18 PM  

Don't give up. Your fans will be upset if you do ... and we all will need to celebrate when an employer picks you up and realizes what they have been missing!

-- d.a.

6:29 PM  

502 - Tweaked just for you. A few years hey? I wonder if unemployment will pay me till then.

MB - Thanks for giving me hope!

BS - Thanks. I'm a geek by trade, so I just sort played around until I liked it. This was actually my first template. Some of my other ones are better.

Dave - My regulars make me so happy.

8:22 PM  

You're obviously very talented. You'll find a job sooner rather than later, I suspect.

Don't show up at the interview wearing a ball-gag. I have found that interviewers are not known for their sense of humor. :-)

Happy Halloween!

10:44 PM  

Alright! I made the list! :)

You'll have to suffer with another job until I get my business going, but I will need some geeks. With my luck, you'll be wildly successful by then and I'll have to deal with second hand geeks.

4:08 PM  

Haha- that is SO true... I think I must be unemployed at the moment- fit too many of the descriptions...

8:13 PM  

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