The Upside of Thursday

So I have given you the weekly job update...Now for two things that actually brightened my day. Most people hate the dreaded "FW:***" emails. Why? Because you have either already seen it, it is lame or usually both. However, yesterday was a banner day in actually interesting forwards.

First one is courtesy of Dave & made me laugh, so I had to share. Sadly, I think I could ace questions 4-6 the best.
The Ten Worst Interview Questions:
10) Imagine you are a frog. Which beer do you prefer and why?
9) The person conducting the interview gets up during the meeting, turns around, points his/her rear end in your direction and asks: "Does my ass look big in this?"
8) "Describe in detail the last time you 'squealed like a pig' in a wood or forest down south."
7) "Order the following with your favorite first, least favorite last, giving reasons for your choices:

• 9/11
• World War Two
• Mount St Helena erupting
• Hurricane Katrina
• Pakistan Earthquake 2005
• Valentines Day Massacre
• San Francisco Earthquake 1918

6) For a position as a Vice President: What positives did you take away with you from the motion picture American Psycho?
5) "Tell me what you admire most about each of the following: The Yorkshire Ripper, Hannibal Lector and Freddie Kruger?"
4) "Imagine we are in a bar. Convince me that I want to go home and have sex with you."
3) (For multiple interviewer situations). "Imagine the three of us are on a plane which crashes, we are the only survivors. We have no food and one of us must be killed and eaten. Which one of us is to be dinner, and why?"
2) "When was the last time someone called you an asshole? Did you deserve it?"
1) "An hysterical, foaming at the mouth, man with a chain saw is going to come charging into the room in a minute. This is a test to show how you handle stress. I am allowed to tell you that the person is in fact a vice president of the company. He will scream at you, he may punch, slap and scratch you. How you respond to this provocation will determine if we hire you or not. Could you please sign this disclaimer which you don't need to read right now but basically says you agree to any kind of torture we can think of... . Good luck now..."

The next bit of good cheer came from my best friend. This is so her & I it is pathetic...
True Friendship:
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you’ve finally had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath…I pledge it till the end.
Why, you ask?
Because you are my friend.