Are Men This Insecure or Am I Just A Bad Lay?
I recently discovered this column over at Wired called Sex Drive. It has to be one of the most interesting things to read. Regina Lynn likes to talk about sex toys, Christians who make sex machines, pretty much any sex gadget she comes across makes it here. Being the libidinous creature that I am I love reading her articles.
Check out:
*The Sex Machines Next Door: Sex machines as a divorce cure for Christians?
*Teledildonics: A vibe controlled by other people on the 'net. The best part is the link to Sinulator. At Sinulator there is a demo that involves what looks like a driving game console, only there is a rabbit vibe stuck in the middle of it for you to 'drive'. God bless the Internet.
*Happy Kitty, Not Hello Kitty: This thing seems brilliant to me. I can't describe it, just read the article. Of course right now you can only buy it on Ebay & it has a hefty $150 price tag. Maybe when I get a job....
Now today's column actually upset me a little. It's titled 'Who's getting stiffed here?'. Not suprisingly it is about sex toys. More specifically though that a lot of men are upset by them. Who knew? Apparently not me. I was shocked to read the following:
"Men have confessed their discomfort with sexual accoutrements to me before. They see them as competition, or as a criticism of their lovemaking technique. They look at the ridiculously huge dildos and wonder whether they'll measure up."
First off, just so you guys out there know...It can be TOO big! Size alone is not going to get you off the hook on technique. It's like having a stick shift sport's car. It can look all hot & pretty, but if you can't operate the fucking thing what good is it?
Also, men are not suppose to 'measure up' to toys. If that were the case women wouldn't deal with men ever because they'd be a chronic disappointment. I mean it isn't like I've ever looked at a guy & told him he could never please me because his dick isn't hot pink with rotating beads inside. Oh, I have one vibrator that has strobe lights in it & just like the package told me it is a NOVELTY item. There is no way in hell I'd be comfortable with a man whose dick had a built in strobe light feature. Please.
Toys are suppose to be for fun & add some diversity to one's sex life. Even if you memorize the Kama Sutra front to back there are still only so many ways you shove A into B.
"It seems to me that introducing an artificial aid into lovemaking ... can definitely provide a great increase in physical pleasure," Drew (not his real name) writes. "(But it) does so at the expense of emotional pleasure, for both partners."
"When I am giving my wife pleasure, it is me, my skill, my knowledge of her body and feelings," Drew writes. "With a toy it is a piece of plastic, and I might as well not be there. How can I express my commitment with a toy?"
Guys...Is this even remotely accurate? I've never had men balk at the concept of an accoutrement or two. Doesn't everyone try bondage at least once? Are the guys I've been with just not saying anything? Do I just sleep with very liberal men? How on earth does a vibrator remove the intimacy between partners?
What am I missing?!?!?
I'd really like to think this is just one guy's opinion. Otherwise I have a lot of shit I won't be needing anymore. Not to mention I'm going to have to seriously rethink what constitutes interesting sex.
Check out:
*The Sex Machines Next Door: Sex machines as a divorce cure for Christians?
*Teledildonics: A vibe controlled by other people on the 'net. The best part is the link to Sinulator. At Sinulator there is a demo that involves what looks like a driving game console, only there is a rabbit vibe stuck in the middle of it for you to 'drive'. God bless the Internet.
*Happy Kitty, Not Hello Kitty: This thing seems brilliant to me. I can't describe it, just read the article. Of course right now you can only buy it on Ebay & it has a hefty $150 price tag. Maybe when I get a job....
Now today's column actually upset me a little. It's titled 'Who's getting stiffed here?'. Not suprisingly it is about sex toys. More specifically though that a lot of men are upset by them. Who knew? Apparently not me. I was shocked to read the following:
"Men have confessed their discomfort with sexual accoutrements to me before. They see them as competition, or as a criticism of their lovemaking technique. They look at the ridiculously huge dildos and wonder whether they'll measure up."
First off, just so you guys out there know...It can be TOO big! Size alone is not going to get you off the hook on technique. It's like having a stick shift sport's car. It can look all hot & pretty, but if you can't operate the fucking thing what good is it?
Also, men are not suppose to 'measure up' to toys. If that were the case women wouldn't deal with men ever because they'd be a chronic disappointment. I mean it isn't like I've ever looked at a guy & told him he could never please me because his dick isn't hot pink with rotating beads inside. Oh, I have one vibrator that has strobe lights in it & just like the package told me it is a NOVELTY item. There is no way in hell I'd be comfortable with a man whose dick had a built in strobe light feature. Please.
Toys are suppose to be for fun & add some diversity to one's sex life. Even if you memorize the Kama Sutra front to back there are still only so many ways you shove A into B.
"It seems to me that introducing an artificial aid into lovemaking ... can definitely provide a great increase in physical pleasure," Drew (not his real name) writes. "(But it) does so at the expense of emotional pleasure, for both partners."
"When I am giving my wife pleasure, it is me, my skill, my knowledge of her body and feelings," Drew writes. "With a toy it is a piece of plastic, and I might as well not be there. How can I express my commitment with a toy?"
Guys...Is this even remotely accurate? I've never had men balk at the concept of an accoutrement or two. Doesn't everyone try bondage at least once? Are the guys I've been with just not saying anything? Do I just sleep with very liberal men? How on earth does a vibrator remove the intimacy between partners?
What am I missing?!?!?
I'd really like to think this is just one guy's opinion. Otherwise I have a lot of shit I won't be needing anymore. Not to mention I'm going to have to seriously rethink what constitutes interesting sex.
posted by Knina at 2:12 PM
5 Comments:
My (ahem) field research has shown that a good number of men see it as a personal goal to (ahem) please his partner without assistance. It's a guy thing...stupid...but a guy thing...until they are (ahem) educated.
Isn't the whole point to connect while at the same time having some fun? I say bring it on! Not everything is going to be my, er, cup of tea but cheese and rice - if one is scared of a spatula they need to stay out of the kitchen.
Now the cross with the shackles that tapes up most of the guest room - well, that's probably not for the first date.
Any man who is intimidated by a toy probably doesn't know the first thing about pleasing a woman. Find a man who knows what he's doing, and he will not only be cool with the toys, he'll be happy to use them on you.
I guess it depends on the guy, because I know several men who like using toys in their love making to liven things up and for thier partner to enjoy. It seems that some guys aren't as secure I guess.
Good to know Im not crazy. I mean clearly not every person is in to every thing out there. There are tons of things people do sexually that are never going to make sense to me. But a vibrator? It seems so harmless.