Quarter Lifer

Quarter Lifer: Rebels of the Week Award


Rebels of the Week Award

Thanks to Blackeyedgurl I ventured over to CNN this morning & actually read the news. I have to commend these two citizens for having gigantic balls that make even me jealous.

1) The Cafe Crusader
Dan McCauley actually took a stand against obnoxious children. In true Midwestern form he posted this sign:One of my old rants includes the damning of children in public. I don't have a problem with kids per se. I have a problem with unruly children. I also have a huge problem with parents who think that because they have children they are superior citizens who are allowed to fuck up my day at will.
Case & Point: A few weekends ago I was at the mall. I was in The Loft, a store with nice clothes clearly aimed at women over the age of 25. The store had a sort of dumbbell shape. It was open on the ends, but the middle was a tad cozy with the register & randomly placed seating benches. To get back to the dressing room I have to scoot through this narrow part where people are trying to pay & what not. In the middle of the store sucking up as much room as possible is a mom, a stroller complete with baby & her slightly older daughter who insisted on playing with the baby. This large child creature was completely unaware of anyone's existence outside of her own. First off, mom had her in moon boots. It was 50 fucking degrees out that day. Why on earth is this child tromping through the mall in moon boots?? Secondly in order to play with the baby the child had to stand in the middle of the only walking space that existed. Does her mother say anything as I announce loudly "Excuse Me!"? Nope. Does the child move at my request? Nope. So I'm stuck there stuck between moon boots & a rack of clothes desperately trying to get back to the dressing room. Finally the child moves just enough for me to eek past her. The best part? I got to repeat this ridiculous fucking event on the way back out of the store.

So in honor of Mr McCauley I offer a Bill Hicks Quote:
This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they're special ... ha ha ha! I'm aware of that. I'm just here to tell you, that they're NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION that load, we're only talking about one load. Connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I've wiped nations off my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILIZATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! I've tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what's for fucking breakfast?!"
2) The Pummeled Professor

Professor Paul Mirecki not only had the balls to quit his job as the University of Kansas department chair, but also took a good old fashioned backwoods hick beating for being against creationism. At this point I really hope most people understand the whole creationism/intelligent design thing is crap. At the very least it is NOT, I repeat NOT science. It is a concept derived from faith. Faith is by definition a belief in something that can not be proven. If the belief can be proven one no longer needs faith in it. This is not rocket science.
I'm not sure what is going happening on a daily basis in Kansas that the people there are not understanding this, but holy shit to we need to straighten these idiots out. However, if this keeps up I may have to start a campaign to annex the state from the union. This will simplify the problem. If you are a moron who wants your children to grow up to be as stupid as you move to Kansas & hang out with all the like minded ignorant fucks you want.
Problem solved.


Anti-ID, likes Bill Hicks...if I wasn't married, you'd be my dream girl. Great post, thanks for the laugh!

1:34 PM  

Nice to know someone reads the news I put up!! The beaten professor just disturbed the hell out of me. I mean, hello would jesus, I mean God, I mean a 'divine creator' beat the hell out of someone for thinking differently? Fucking Christians, think the whole world should be just like them, not realizing that all they are doing is making little repressed future serial killing homos. (Sorry I've been at Crime Library reading up on sexual predators, I'm just saying there's a correlation).

2:09 PM  

Excellent post. I'd heard about the Taste of Heaven guy but not the Professor vs the Christian beat-down.

I'm not a Christian but I'd like to think that assaulting someone is not very Christ-like. Similarly, Mohommed would not have strapped bombs to himself and blown up a pizza parlor.

But what do I know?

2:16 PM  

Did you ever consider becoming a "big sister?"

I think your patience and social interests would make for a good fit.

2:56 PM  

I agree with you on both points. I heard a radio interview with a customer at that guy's store--the woman was bitching and moaning about the sign he put up and how rude it was to ask kids not to run around and scream. Think about it--THESE are the kinds of people having children. Fear the future.

I posted back in August on Intelligent Design along similar lines, saying that this new push for “side-by-side” teaching of ID in science classes is more insidious than the old balls-out evolution lobbying because it masquerades as enlightened reason.

I found myself asking why schools had to teach the Christian supernatural belief in science classes instead of others. If the ID people were honest about their claim to simply expose children to a non-evolutionary belief-based “explanation,” how about the Hindu creation myth? Or the ancient Greek belief that a giant bird in the Great Void laid a golden egg with two halves that became the earth and the sky?

Hell, why not take a day in science class to teach our kids that aliens keep us as pets in a big-ass cage and watch us for their amusement?!?

-- david

10:48 AM  

Great post. Since I don't have offspring, I sometimes run into the angry mom type who sneers, "What do you know? You don't have children."

True. But I was a child and my mom would never have let me get away with that kind of crap in public.

12:47 PM  

absolutely bang on target -- society seems to cater to the coupled and the famili-ed; and i am wondering -- was a law passed while I was sleeping....

1:04 PM  



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