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Quarter Lifer

Quarter Lifer: 2005: Survival of the Fittest?

1/04/2006

2005: Survival of the Fittest?

Before I get to my resolutions I have to do a quick recap of my 2005. If for no other reason than I am going to prove '06 can't be worse unless I end up a quadriplegic. So here is the '05 post game wrap up to be followed by the 2006 preseason post - The actual season doesn't start until I either a) Have my w2 or b) Can put the correct year on a check the first time.

Glad this shit is over....
Jan/Feb: I spent most of this time traveling for work. Nothing like taking 3 airplane flights in a week with the flu to go hang out at radionuclear pharmacies where everything is anally monitored & you might die while setting up some guy's email.

February, part 2: 13 hours after I got off my last flight from my last business trip after 9 months on a project I promptly fell & broke my leg. The dangerous act that led to my demise? Walking down my driveway. I'm still bitter I don't have a better story for my first & only broken bone. Never once while riding some crazy horse did I hurt myself that bad. Nor when I use to consumed twice my weight in drugs on a weekly basis did I end up in this situation. Nope, just trying to get to work. Fucking fate.

March - June: Deal with broken leg, eat painkillers, go to physical therapy. Thanks to physical therapist end up getting my flat ass feet casted (the word 'cast' makes one a tad jumpy after just having gotten out of one, trust me) so I can pay $180 to have the ultimate in old person accessories: Orthotics.

March: Had a brief relationship with an adorable yet flaky creature named Jay. A total hottie & with a giant vocabulary. Plus, bonus points to me for seducing him while my leg was in the cast which was covered up by what I refer to as 'the shit brown bootie'.

June: The Intern. All I have to say on that is STAY AWAY FROM THE YOUNG ONES.

July: As repayment for me busting my ass on an $11 million dollar integration I got a 3% raise followed exactly one week later by a firing. In all fairness I was begging to get fired, literally in some cases. Also, the month I officially started my blog.

August: Celebrated my firing & 26th birthday (8/1) by donning a new tattoo. Reveled in my state sponsored unemployment by getting shit done around the house.

September: Realized how much I suck at the whole getting a job process. Oh, and the juggler.

October: This would be when Mr. Robinson came into the picture. Still not sure if that was a good or bad thing.

November: I didn't feel thankful at all. Do you think karma got me back for that?

December: Started exercising & made my goal of losing 8 lbs by xmas eve. Suffered through the holiday season including one ill fated trip to NY. Finished off the year with a mini bash at IV's house. The shindig included doing those things you can only do guilt free on a holiday like New Year's as well as horrible photos being taken of me. Proof is available here, I'd be the fat one.

So to 2005 I say fuck off & don't come back...ever.

4 Comments:

I think a LOT of people will be happy to say good bye to 2005. I hope 2006 is much much better for you!!

12:17 PM  

At least 2005 was an interesting year.

Though you could have done without the legbreak.

And the firing.

All the best for 2006!

10:04 AM  

I had forgotten about the broken leg. You should have just made up a story for all of us to believe, something about impregnation by Brad Pitt. No, wait, that wouldn't work -- we all know he wouldn't sleep with anyone he's not married to.

--david

6:15 AM  

weird... our lives are eerily similar.

i changed jobs (hence my move to fabulous indiana...) and broke my ankle.

and of course random memories created so our friends can live vicariously through them :)

12:44 PM  

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