Quarter Lifer

Quarter Lifer: March 2006


"Legano, Ni Legano...Is Gray Area"

So, it could be just me, but isn't the whole immigration protest thing seem like stupidity at its finest? Who knew you could protest in defense of your right to be able to break the law? I guess it never occurred to me, because it is one of the stupidest ideas I have ever heard! Granted if these illegal workers had a high school diploma they might actually understand concepts like illegal & criminal.
If I understand this correctly people who are NOT citizens are upset that OUR government wants to increase penalties for ILLEGAL immigration. Also known as breaking the fucking law. Now, I am no Republican or government loving freak. I hate patriotism & Dubya...all of it. However, as a citizen I get to have those opinions. Not a citizen? Guess you can't play in this game.

These protestors are actually using our constitution to stand up for rights they don't have, because oh yeah - THEY ARE NOT FUCKING CITIZENS. Then there are the people walking out on behalf of their illegal relatives. What is this shit? Now we have protesting by proxy?

"Mom, dad I know you are here illegally. So I am going to ditch Algebra in protest of you breaking the law"

As far as I can tell illegal immigrants basically view getting into the country as some sort of competition they have won. As the winners, they get to screw with the system since, well they made it in to the US. One of the arguments I've seen the most is "You can't go arrest 11 million people, so why bother to change the law?"
Is it just me or is this the dumbest logic ever? Wouldn't it be nice to use this logic every time someone was charged with a crime?

Rapists: "Well, your Honor, since I already raped her don't you think I should get off (no pun intended)? I mean maybe if you had got to me before the whole sodomy with an object happened I could see you being upset. However, what's done is done so why don't we just call this one even?"

Murderers: "I already killed the person & since I can't make him any less dead I'm thinking 'no harm, no foul'. I'd love to go to prison and all, but it doesn't really fit into my schedule. Oh, and if you disagree I'm getting all the other murderers together & we are going to protest!"

Speaking of dumb, logic & algebra - For anyone who may be empathizing with these people I'd like to point out that they are not an addition to this country. Half of illegal workers don't have a high school education. One third don't even have a ninth grade education. Many of the female immigrants don't work period because they are at home tending to their litter of offspring who are probably not going to end up much better off than their parents.
As for those stay at home immigrant women panicking about who is going to support them if their illegal (damn, there is that word again) husbands get deported? Maybe I'm being a crazy feminazi liberal here, but umm, how about YOU?!? What are these women incapable of getting a job like the rest of us? It isn't like that immigrant farm wage has them living in Beverly Hills. I doubt it would be all that difficult to get a job making a wage comparable to fruit picker. Though I could be ignorant. It's possible fruit pickers are pulling in six figures and I missed the boat by going to college.
Speaking of offspring...or alternately their impact on the population. In my heavily Hispanic area I have yet to meet a small Hispanic family. Trust me, they have the Catholics beat on the whole be fruitful & multiply thing. Anyway, I found this interesting statistic:
"The US population is expected to increase at an astounding rate. In 1990 it was 249 million; now it is 298 million; by 2050 it is expected to be 420 million. That is a jump of 70%, or 170 million, in only 60 years. The rate already eclipses the record 1910 wave of European immigration."
How much growth do you think one country can handle? In terms of resources, jobs, etc...There simply is not enough for us to be letting anyone who is bored with their country come to ours. There are enough troubles with the education system & class sizes in my area, not to mention water & electricity shortages and number of jobs. Are we just going to stretch the system until it breaks so that we too can become a third world country?

From what I have read the bills floating around want to do things like make it a felony to be in the country illegally, make drunk driving a deportable offense & still give these people a chance to become citizens IF they pay fines, back taxes, learn English & pass a background check. Umm, where is the radical injustice in that? I have to pass a background check to get a job. I have to pay taxes. I get fined if I don't pay taxes. I am not allowed to drink & drive.

Oh my fucking god what a radical notion! Our government wants to treat these people as if they were just like the rest of us!

Here in Wisconsin the big immigration issue has to do with driver's licenses. Yep, illegal workers are upset because they would have to prove they are legal residents in order to get a license. Well, the nerve of my state politicians. They only want legal residents getting licenses. Damn them.
As far as I know we are one of the only states who doesn't already require this. In turn this has made Wisconsin a hot spot for illegal residents to get a license. Great, we are known for beer, brats, cheese and now supporting law breakers. My state has a bad enough rep ok? I don't mind having some notorious people: Dahmer, Ed Gein, Lawerencia Bembenek...but Disneyland for illegal immigrants who need ID isn't on the top ten list of things I want for my state.
The arguments being made against the bill are totally asinine. Clearly the aliens left their common sense in their other pants when they immigrated.....
"Right now, my license is my life. Without a driver's license you're going to feel like every cop is going to stop you." said Miguel Serna of Ft Atkinson, who came to America in 1986 and now works as a welder & a clown (Laugh, that is a hysterical combo).
So let me get this straight: You have no fears, issues or worries about being in the country for 20 years illegally, but are paralyzed with fright over not having a license? Talk about warped priorities. More importantly, a driver's license is like a SSN, it gets you everywhere. Jobs, bank accounts, loans, everything and anything can be done if you have a license. Rarely have I been asked to show my birth certificate or passport to anyone. Bars, jobs, police, etc - All they care about is that license. So if you can get one, what incentive do you have to become legal? Apparently Miguel could care less about being a citizen, but is very worried about being able to drive from home to those welding/clown gigs.

I have actually dealt with the illegal workforce myself. They are popular in the horse world as grooms & shit shovelers. I promise not one of them was here to improve America. They knew English, but refused to speak it & never paid a dime in taxes. They all had a five year plan that involved sending cash back to Mexico for awhile, then going home to retire like kings. A lowly horse groomer here usually owned a whole farm back in Mexico. I don't have a farm. Do you? The people I knew weren't concerned with things like taxes or voting. It wasn't about contributing it was about abusing. I am not really thrilled with the idea of being a cash cow for a country with a shitty dollar value. Granted, I'd probably take advantage of a system like our current one too. Not like getting caught does any harm. At the barn we'd have usually about 5 illegal grooms here who all came over on the same visa. One would get here & they would just mail it back home for the next Juan Doe to show up.
Hell, I can't even get a job because so many in my field are being outsourced to India but I am suppose to feel bad for someone because they broke into this country by clinging to the top of a train or weaving a reed boat hoping to drift to a US shoreline? Not happening.

And now, because that might change all of sudden these people are ready to participate in the democratic process? Fuck that.
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I Go Through Two Lighters A Day!

I am one of those smokers who actually enjoys smoking. I may have contemplated quitting for ohhh, about 2 hours one day. I decided against it. Being a smoker I also tend to revel in the irony of things like non-smokers who die of lung cancer. The most recent example being Dana Reeves. Non-smokers who die of lung cancer support my belief that when your number is up it's up. It's right up there with being killed by a falling icicle. Fate is fate and smoking is probably not the end all, be all determinant regardless of what people would like you to believe. If smoking, drinking & drugs were an automatic death sentence, then explain Keith Richards. On the flip side of that, explain the olympic athletes who just arbitrarily dropped dead. Besides, I have yet to meet an immortal non-smoker.

It may sound cruel to revel in another's death, but it takes the edge off my irritation with this country's neverending quest to fuck with my ability to smoke. I mean I realize there are still illiterate children, homeless people & that pesky Iraq conflict going on, but clearly the government believes my cigarette smoking is going to be the downfall of humanity.
I already go outside! What more do you fucking want? It isn't crack, it's a marlboro and is what keeps from killing 50% of all people I come in contact with so I highly recommend letting me light up.

Anyway, I have recently discovered a new spin on the whole smoking issue. Believe it or not, smoking may be good for you! I know what all you non-smokers are thinking right now: Smoking? Beneficial? That is crazy talk!

So I have come armed with supporting evidence....

Case#1: Quit smoking & get a disease!
My cousin who recently turned 27 has been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. Sounds pleasant hey? All I know is my aunt has now shared way too much information about my cousin's colon with me - The enemas, scopes, color pictures & do it yourself poop smears. It also means he will be on medication for the rest of his life or possibly end up with surgery.
It's sort of a strange disease in terms of what causes it - As far as researchers know it is caused by a combination of genes, a person's immune system & environmental factors. They also believe that emotional stresses can cause flareups.
Shortly before the disease appeared my cousin decided to quit smoking for what I swear is at least the 5th time. I even gave him shit about it at Christmas asking how long it would last this time.
The best part of all this? His doctor told him that quitting smoking may have caused his current bout of problems. Not only is there an emotional stress tied to quitting smoking, but apparently doctors have found that smokers with UC have less problems. They think something with the nicotine keeps it at bay.
Whoo hoo! Score one for the smokers!

Case#2: Who smokes more than the Chinese?
Well, maybe middle easterners, but that is beside the point. After hearing about my cousin I came across this article claiming there are redeeming things in cigarettes:
Holy smoke! Chinese city turns cigarettes to medicine
Apparently they have found a component of cigarettes called solanesol that helps treat cardiovascular disease.

Case#3: Sex Doesn't Have To Be Terminal!
I guess it was just the week to be a smoker. Black people get a month, women get a month & it appears the last week was an ode to the benefits of smoking. Who knew?
My last enlightening article is this one:
Do Plants Have The Potential To Vaccinate Against HIV?
It talks about using genetically modified tobacco to create an HIV vaccine. How fucking cool is that? Talk about the ultimate slap in the face! The evil tobacco monster being used to vaccinate against HIV?
If it ever came to fruition I'd want everyone of those morons (smokers & non-smokers alike) who sued a tobacco company to line up at Philip Morris' door & apologize for being a pretentious idiot, for bitching that a picture of a camel could lead to the collapse of America & for not owning up to the fact that smoking is a personal choice.
I want the freedom to light up. However should I get lung cancer or emphysema I am not going to blame the tobacco companies. If I get into a car accident can I sue Mazda for making a nice car that I wanted to buy & drive around in? Please.

If you are a non-smoker who is all ready to berrate me with a comment or even just someone who appreciates a good laugh, I leave you with the following bit on smoking by the late Bill Hicks:
I smoke, if this bothers anyone, I recommend you looking around the world in which we live and... shutting your fucking mouth. Either that or suffer a facial burn, your choice. After all this is America, land of freedom, so you have that option ahead of you.

I now realize I smoke for simply one reason, and that is spite. I hate you non-smokers with all of my little black fucking heart, you obnoxious, self-righteous, whining little fucks, my biggest fear if I quit smoking, is that I'll become one of you. Now don't take that wrong.

How many non-smokers do we have here tonight? By round of applause, non-smokers. A few of you. Good, 'cause I have something to tell you. I do. I have something to tell you non-smokers, and this is for you and you only, because I know for a fact that you don't know this. And I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times, so that we can all learn, evolve, and get the fuck off this planet. Non-smokers, this is for you and you only, ready?
Non-smokers die every day.
Sleep tight.

See, I know you entertain some kind of eternal life fantasy because you do not smoke cigarettes. May I be the first to pop that little fucking bubble of yours, and send you hurtling back to the truth? You're dead too. Have a good evening. And you know what doctors say, "Shit, if only you smoked, we'd have the technology to help you! It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed."

I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me, man.
Oxygen tent, iron lung - it's like going to Sharper Image! Major rationalizations...

We live in such a weird culture, man. Does anyone remember this, when Yul Bryner died, and came out with that commercial after he was dead? "I'm Yul Bryner and I'm dead now."
What the fuck's this guy selling? I'm all ears.
"I'm Yul Bryner and I'm dead now, because I smoked cigarettes."

Okay, pretty scary. But they coulda done that with anyone. They coulda done it with that Jim Fixx guy, too, remember that guy, that health nut who died while jogging? I don't remember seeing his commercial!

"I'm Jim Fixx and I'm dead now. And I don't know what the fuck happened. I jogged every day, ate nothing but tofu, swam five hundred laps every morning, and I'm dead. Yul Bryner drank, smoke, and got laid every night of his life. He's dead. Shit! Yul Bryner's smokin', drinkin', girls are sitting on his cueball noggin, every night of his life! I'm running around a dewy track at dawn. And we're both fucking dead! Yul used to pass me on his way home in the morning, big long limousine, two girls blowing him, cigarette in one hand, drink in the other....One day that life is going to get to you, Yul."

They're both dead.
Yeah, but what a healthy looking corpse you were, Jim. Look at the hamstrings on that corpse! Look at the sloppy grin on Yul's corpse! Yul Bryner lived his life. Sure, he died a 78-pound stick figure, okay. There are certain drawbacks.

People'll say the stupidest things sometimes too, "Hey, man, if you quit smoking you get your sense of smell back." I live in New York City, I got news for you-I don't want my fucking sense of smell back.

(Sniffs) "Is that urine? (Sniffs) I think I smell a dead guy! Honey, look, a dead guy! Covered in urine, check this out! Someone just pee'd on this guy, that's fresh. Just think, if I'd been smoking I never would have found him! A urine-covered dead fella, what're the odds? Thank God I quit smoking, now I can enjoy the wonders of New York, honey, look!"

"I'm Bill Hicks and I'm dead now because I smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes didn't kill me, a bunch of non-smokers kicked the shit out of me one day.
I tried to run, they had more energy than I.
I tried to hide, they heard me wheezing.
Many of them smelled me.
(Sniffing sounds) "There he is, get him!" (Pants) "Oh, he's hardly fucking moving, this is pathetic!" (Pants) "Look, he's still trying to get away, he's like a roach, step on him!" (Pants) "Squash him!" "Let's kill him and pee on him. Yeah!"
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Well, It Is The Lord's Day

You know sometimes you just shouldn't click on web ads. Being in IT I should know these things. However, sometimes the temptation is overwhelming & even I can not help myself....

Click if you dare!

For those who didn't brave the link I will explain:

Kinky Christians!

I may have my quirks, but this was a little much. I think I'd have been ok except I went to the site's Cafe Press store. I know there are communities for just about everything, but the whole BDSM/Jesus Freak combo continues to fly over my head. I guess I'm just lucky I'm an Atheist. However, I am tempted to join just to investigate this phenomenon further.

To add insult to irony I stumbled onto the Kinky Christians shortly after getting this personal ad response:
Mistress, I am a 57 year old submissive, white and divorced male, living in Beloit. I am college educated (Carroll) and hold a master's degree in theology -- I am also ordained.
I wear panties. Six feet tall. 195 pounds.
Obedient. Love to be put over knee and spanked
Can travel. Please email direct at ****
Naughty Johnny
Ahh, there is a dream date if I ever saw one....An old, MINISTER, who wears panties. I wonder if his parishoners know about this. How would he explain it if they did? I mean how do you pass off wearing panties & enjoying spankings as the lord's work?

Some days it is particularly clear to me why I am usually single. I'm also reminded why that isn't a bad thing.
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Full Moon Tuesday

I am by nature a girl of science. However there are those few things I get flaky & superstitious about: I've been known to read my horoscope, I think weird things happen during the full moon & I have a pathological fear of Tuesdays. Call me crazy if you like, but I'm telling you if you pay attention you will find Tuesday to be a notoriously bad day of the week. At my last job I explained my Tuesday issues to several coworkers & guess what? Within a short period of time they too were Anti-Tuesday converts (My ability to convert non-believers is what gives me faith in the whole amendment thing).

All that being said yesterday was not only Tuesday, but there was a full moon. WHY WAS I NOT WARNED BEFORE LEAVING THE HOUSE?!?!

Thanks to my lack of income I tend not to go out much. Ok, I actually don't leave the house unless it's on fire or to get coffee in the morning. Notably I think the coffee shop may be my next place of employment.

Anyway, about 4pm my mom's old hippie boyfriend tells me they are going out for Mexican food & invites me along. I stupidly say 'Sounds great, I'd love to go'. The following things proceed to happen during the approximately 75 minutes I was absent from the safety of my home:

1) The Beer Nabbing Bum
I live in a suburb, but the more hick than pretentious kind. We have several quirks. One is that the population is pretty much 50/50 white people & Hispanics (this would be why you can get good Mexican in bumble fuck, WI). However, should any of us see a black person we all think 'Is he lost? Milwaukee is the other way'. We don't have a homicide rate because we might average a half a murder a year. Instead we get odd crime. Not quite as odd as the great pink flamingo stealing from the church lawn (That would be in BEG's hometown). Still Waukesha is not what one refers to as a 'rough neighborhood' by any means.
Another wonderfully Waukesha quirk is we have notoriously narrow driveways into places with enormous dips at the bottom. It's as if they designed the town around fucking up the bottom of your car. Texas has too many speed bumps, New Jersey has no left turns and Waukesha has it's funky driveways. Imagine my surprise when I got to merge these 2 things together. Yep, crime & bad city planning all in one.

The Hippie & I take the SUV over to the Mexican place (Casa del rio) to meet mom. Casa has one of the stupid Waukesha driveways that is exactly wide enough for your vehicle & has concrete buildings on both sides to ensure your captivity. As he turns in we are immediately confronted by a stonewash jean clad ass of some guy. By his inability to get up off the ground I initially assumed the man was hurt. At second glance however I see a bag. In the bag is part of a six pack of beer. Like any good Wisconsinite these aren't those wimpy 12 ounce cans, no this is like a six pack of forties. Had I been driving it would have been at this point that I threw the car in reverse & parked elsewhere. As a woman even the most inebriated man may pose a threat if agitated. So instead of waiting to be the star of 'When Drunks Attack' I'd simply have removed myself from the area.
Not the Hippie though. Nope, he waits patiently while the bum goes about his business. As I watched the man who was about 3 feet in front of our bumper I realized not only was he not injured, but instead his issue was apparently that one of his beers had escaped from the bag. While trying to stand up more of his beers tumbled out of the bag in an effort to save themselves from the fate of this man. Already so drunk he couldn't stand & rather oblivious to our presence the man proceeds to crawl on his hands & knees from the right of the driveway to directly in front of us and then over to his beer. Having rescued the precious Budweiser, we now have to wait for him to crawl back out of our path. Again this takes him some amount of time. Using the concrete building on the right he manages to stumble off into the sunset. Did I mention he was this hammered at 530pm on a Tuesday? Apparently he doesn't like them either.
After the 10 minute performance by the drunk we pull through to the back where the parking lot lives. I casually glance off to my right & see a door I had never noticed. It blended into the building except for it's 3 makeshift 2x4 steps. It also didn't appear to go anywhere. Apparently though the bum knew something I didn't, because there he was slumped on the stairs. Still clutching his beer he is reaching up to knock on the door. If you have never watched a grown man reach up to knock on the very bottom of a door I highly recommend it. Wildly amusing.

2) Memory Lane
Finally we park & duck safely through the back door into the restaurant. Except in some apparent effort to mess with me as we reach the hostess area to get seated it becomes apparent that something is not right. Oh, yeah - Since the last time I was there they had moved a wall!
I persevere onward to our table & order a magarita. My mom having parked on the street pops in through the front door. She joins us & announces there is a cop outside with some guy who needs a bath. I then explain to her that we are already old friends with the crazy drunk who is now chatting with our local authorities. Though I can't imagine it was a very productive conversation.

My mom has barely sat down when I hear 'Amanda!'. As usual my first thought is 'Are those the voices in my head?'. I turn around & directly behind me is my old best friend Julie. When I say old I mean I met this girl when I was like 10 or 11 yrs old. We both rode at the same barn that had no indoor plumbing. Nothing builds character at 10 faster than using a port-a-potty at 6am in January. One of my biggest fears as a child was actually that I'd freeze to the seat ala why you aren't suppose to lick poles when it's freezing out.
It later dawned on me that means I have known her for about 15 yrs which made me feel really old.
We had a very 13 year old girl type of falling out over another mutual friend Charlene. The two of them eventually moved to another barn without me & I was left out in the cold. Ironically, my spot in the clique was filled by my current best friend Adrianna (aka - BEG). It was literally like she was the applicant they chose to fill my spot in the group dynamic. I guess it sort of explains why her & I ended up really good friends. I took the 11-13 yr old shift and Adrianna took the 14 - 16 yr old shift. Then her & I ended up at the same barn. If you haven't noticed horses, more specifically American Saddlebreds, is a small group chalk full of politics, barn hopping, sexual escapades & an overall general sleaziness.
Fast forward to present day....Julie & I were exchanging the usual pleasantries when I realized she was ten times the loser I was. Plus, she is still really close to Charlene so I got the double whammy update. I couldn't help but do the happy 'payback is a bitch' dance in my head.

The lowdown on Julie's life...
Job? I may be unemployed, but at least when employed I have what passes for a career. She never finished college & has three jobs. She tells me she is still at the Land's End Outlet (where she has now been folding flannel shirts for the last 8 years), she works for her parents business (though I don't recall them having one) and she works at the local Acura dealership. Trying to not to say anything totally tactless I ask what she does over at Acura assuming she does like part time office work or something. Nope, she without hesitation says 'I clean the cars!'. It took all of my willpower not to blurt out 'I thought they only hired Mexicans to do that'.

Somewhat shocked at her patheticness I move on to the marriage question. Not only is she not married, but she still lives at home too. Whoo hoo! I am not the only one! On top of that the guy with her was a large, imposing Mexican Mafioso looking Hispanic who didn't say a word to me. So, if he was more than a platonic friend I also get bonus points for landing way better guys.

And then there is Charlene. Charlene comes from money. I don't mean wealthy, I mean her dad's favorite hobby is collecting Ferraris rich. Though honestly a great family. I knew them well & they are actually fairly low key rich.
Charlene is working for her parents as well in the accounting department. Of course, Julie said in the accounting department, not actually an accountant. That was sort of a given though. Her older brother wanted nothing to do with the business, so it landed on her.
As for marriage? Charlene was always really pretty. Guys just sort of fell at her feet. She is the embodiment of petite, blonde & rich. Yeah, I wish I had it so rough. So that made Julie's answer all the better. With a downward look towards the floor she tells me Charlene was engaged but "that didn't work out". The body language alone screamed huge fucking disaster. I'd like to fancy it was something as tragic as left at the alter, but I don't actually know.

Don't get me wrong, these girls were a huge part of my life & I don't wish them any ill will. However, sometimes an ego stroking is just what a girl needs.

After dinner I climbed into mom's car and when I looked ahead I saw the moon in all it's full glory. Well, there you have it. The explanation for my very weird 75 minute Tuesday adventure was right in front of me. Next time I think about leaving the house on a Tuesday I will be sure to check the moon's cycle.
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Faking It

Ah, if only I were talking about orgasms....At least those are something I don't have to fake. Nope, I am actually referring to the latest twists & turns in my unending quest for employment.

Most of February was dead in terms of the job hunt. I don't mean slow either. I mean dead as in I'd get better responses from the people in the local Sunnyside cemetery dead. I continue to dutifully hock my resume, send out applications, etc to no avail. Occasionally I get a rejection letter for a job I interviewed for 3 months ago, but other than that nothing.

Convinced I am doing something 'wrong' in my job search I like to read articles for tips & tricks to aid in my search. I have to say there is some depressing news out there about job hunting. However, the most disturbing by far was this article about embellishing one's resume. I was shocked to learn that over 50% of all people lie on their resume. Some articles I read put it as high as 75%. Well, shit no wonder I don't have any sort of edge. I'm too busy being honest.

It also claims that fudging your resume can come back to haunt you. Except, it references people who got awfully damn far lying on their resumes. Think FEMA's Michael Brown & Radioshack CEO David Edmondson. Oh yeah, lying on their resumes really screwed them. Like these people didn't make enough money before they got caught for it to really matter. Much like Enron, I have a distinct 'Too little, too late' feeling about the whole thing. Plus, they may have lied before, but now these people have the actual experience they wanted to put on a resume. Edmondson doesn't have to lie now because he actually was the CEO of Radioshack. I'd say that looks pretty good on a resume.

I'm not big on lying. As a matter of fact I suck at it which forces me to be honest 99.9% of the time. So this seems radically unfair (for lack of a better term) to me. Thanks to this article I was sent off into the world of faking resumes. There are sites that will dummy up a resume for you. Hell, even ones that will give you a fake degree & have a phone number so employers can verify it. Clearly if there are people out there taking advantage of this shit it is not surprising why I have absolutely no edge over other candidates.

Now, everything you read from HR people says they always find out or it will come back and bite you in the end, but I don't really buy that having been in the throes of the job hunt for the last 7 months. I can count on one hand the number of people who requested my job references. Out of those I think maybe one employer actually called them. You are your piece of paper.

I'm not naive. I understand there are people who lie on their resumes, but the high number of people doing it simply astounded me. So, where does that leave me? Apparently still unemployed & totally fucked.

Irritated by the whole you should lie more fiasco I continued reading job hunting articles. I think the psychic's guide to finding a job is my all time favorite. I guess if I can't get a job by lying I should at least get me one of them Court TV psychics to tell me it's all going to be ok.

The other line I'm sick of hearing is that it's my area. I am suffering from a horrible location. Here in Wisconsin the term "brain drain" pops up every few years. We are home to one of the best universities in the country - UW Madison. However, once people are done with school they run for the border faster than a taco bell commercial. We rank 7th in exporting college graduates & 49th in importing them. 49th? Out of 50? What that tells me is I am not in the right state for smart people. The ones who do get jobs get them because they know somebody, not because they are talented or even qualified for a job. Now I know about 60% of jobs are gotten through networking. Umm, yeah that is great if you have a network. I am 26 & probably one of the only people my age I know with an actual resume. My network consists of mostly tortured artists who have day jobs to fund their wild aspirations of doing things like making it big with the band or sailing around the world on a boat because it would be 'cool'. So unless I aspire to fry cook my network isn't really going to do me much good.

Then there is money. Graduates who leave Wisconsin for full time jobs earn almost 25% more than those who stay. The irony of all this is that I am currently unemployed & therefore I don't have the money to move out of my sinking ship of a state. Again I feel unemployed & totally fucked.

So here I am with no job in a state that doesn't appreciate educated people, shopping for psychics & good liars. This is not what was in the brochure.

As a new approach I've decided to open up my resume to the people who read my blog. Any tips, lies or jobs you'd like to offer I am all ears.
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